Home » Why you don’t need to play with your kids

Why you don’t need to play with your kids

Children dressed up in super hero costume

Frankly, it can be pretty boring as an adult to play with children. If you’ve ever played with children, you know what I’m talking about.

Children are trying to understand the world

Children are hard at work developing and learning how to become adults. This means they are trying to learn and mimic from adults. And they do this by play.

Since they are hard at work trying to understand the complexities of life, they have a need to repeat their play over and over again. This is great for children to do, but can for an adult become frustrating quickly. We are just not in the same developmental stage as children. We do not have a psychological need to play the way they do. Trying to do so can become very frustrating.

The good thing is that we don’t really need to either. Children do not need adults to be their playmates. Children can play with other children. And if they don’t have other children around, they can play by themselves. It’s actually very normal and natural for children to play by themselves. They might be a little bored and frustrated at first if they are not used to it. However, boredom feeds creativity, and it won’t be long before they are immersed in play on their own.

The guilt from not being “there”

Sometimes adults can have this false belief that you need to entertain your children — “be fun”. Swedish psychotherapist Louise Hallin explains in her podcast “Kära barn” (English: “Dear child”) that this false belief often comes from the deep-seated guilt of not being with your children enough. Not being with them as much as you instinctively know that you probably should. Feeling the need to entertain your children, or be fun, can be a way to try to compensate for this guilt.

But it is not so easy to really be there with your children. So if you feel this guilt, you are not alone. The modern world can make it hard for us to have enough time with our busy schedules. Having busy work schedules or a 60-hour workweek can be hard to combine with raising children.

But what children need from their adults is not really that they are entertaining — it is that they are there. That they are there physically and mentally.

Being there mentally

Sometimes it can be hard to be there mentally too. Because we have access to screens and endless internet entertainment it is easy to fall trap to that. Screens can be addictive and make it hard to be truly present with the people around us. And children, unfortunately, notice this. They may not have the vocabulary to express, or even realize, it yet. But it is distressing for children to feel like their parents are not really there.

Finding ways to create more freedom in your life by embracing simplicity and, if possible, reducing work hours can reduce some of this guilt. But even if that is not possible, do not concern yourself with trying to compensate by being their playmate. Instead, just spend the time with your children when you can: just being there.

Having fun with your children is still important

Though we do not really need to play with our children, it is still important to spend time and find ways to have fun together.

Activities that are usually enjoyable for both children and adults are:

  • Teaching: Children love, and are hard-wired, to learn from adults. Fortunately, adults are also hard-wired to teach children. You can teach children all sorts of things: cooking, gardening, building things, social skills like having a conversation, or sports. The list is endless.
  • Playing board games: Board games can be another way to have fun for both children and adults. Good family board games usually have elements for both to enjoy.
  • Crafts: This is another enjoyable activity for both children and adults. Crafts allows everyone to create at their own individual level so can be very fulfilling for all ages. Some example of crafts are painting, clay, pottery, or wood-working.
  • Going on adventures: Going to the park, the play ground, going swimming, or exploring the outdoors are usually fun for both children and adults. Going into nature provides endless opportunities for children to play and can be a nice mental break for adults as well.

So if you do not enjoy playing with your child: there is no reason to feel guilty. There is not really a good reason for your children to depend on you for entertainment. Children can entertain themselves quite easily and it will be a valuable skill to have for life.

But again, it is still important to spend time together — being present with each other — and that is a gift that will mean the world to them.

61 thoughts on “Why you don’t need to play with your kids”

  1. урология в симферополе гостиницы в адлере рядом с морем
    купить путевку в санаторий анапа вихревые ванны санаторий фсб ялта
    rossi hotel санкт петербург гостиница маяк москва отель холидей инн московские ворота

  2. гостиница бридж резорт адлер медовые водопады кисловодск отзывы туристов
    светлогорск санаторий янтарный геленжик курорт ру albergo пермь
    ливадия санаторий казань отзывы алые паруса крым алушта ribera resort spa гостиница 4

  3. гостиница усть баргузин пансионат арабика
    отель горный воздух геленджик отдых в южном взморье в адлере гостиницы кирово чепецк
    сколько стоит билет в абхазию гостиницы кириллова дом европы иркутск

  4. гостиница арктик сервис мурманск официальный сайт жемчужина чунджа
    гостиница дуслык казань кимры отели и гостиницы пансионат балтийские пески калининградская область официальный сайт
    ливадия групп усадьба голубой залив поселок городского типа симеиз заимка рыбная

  5. клиника би в пятигорске отель прованс ростов на дону
    заозерное отдых с детьми пиратос горящие туры гостиница адмирал сочи
    отдых в сочи туры алекс резорт абхазия гагра янгантау санаторий 2022 путевки с лечением цены

  6. старая анапа отзывы курорт архыз отели
    сочи екатерининский квартал отзывы мисхорский парк официальный сайт санатории евпатории с бассейном с морской водой
    санаторий парус крым официальный сайт хостел ангарск недорого путевки в сочи 2022

  7. парк отель волынское официальный сайт санаторий россия белокуриха вакансии
    дом отдыха прибрежный отели крыма сайт лайтхаус сочи
    подвесной мост через реку дагомыс гостиница причал усмань чайные домики уч дере

  8. отель bridge resort санаторий в крыму на новый год 2022
    отель золотая миля гостиница чайка углич букинг джемете
    санаторий дворцы в карелии официальный сайт отель заря кисловодск отель имера в витязево

  9. доброград спа комплекс стоимость del mar сочи отель
    гостиницы в тольятти санаторий саки в крыму фото отели казань цены
    газпром ямал небуг агни отель санкт петербург официальный сайт крым заозерный

  10. сертификат на отдых ребенка минеральные курорты
    агентство скорость валуево бассейн хороший отель в сочи с бассейном
    орбита адлер официальный дилуч санаторий отзывы alean family resort spa doville г анапа

  11. поселок заозерное евпатория приморье сочи
    сити парк сочи гостиницы в старой руссе цены крым все включено 2022
    истра от москвы сколько км пятигорский краеведческий музей отель астрахань

  12. гостиница президент москва отели сукко анапа
    санаторий луч пятигорск отель томь ривер плаза ирэн абхазия официальный сайт
    амакс тамбов официальный куда поехать с семьей металлург г ессентуки

  13. грязелечебницы в крыму завидное загородный клуб
    свет маяка керчь официальный отель дивный сочи официальный сайт база отдыха солнечный московская область
    отель соната на невском 5 санатория ай петри белокуриха курорт официальный сайт

  14. анапа отдых отель аура вологда официальный сайт
    санаторий мисхор в ялте сочи санаторий южное взморье отзывы марриотт воронеж
    санаторий октябрьский сочи лечение гостиницы кисловодск официальный сайт отзывы об отеле мрия ялта

  15. утес санта барбара крым апарт отель новороссийск
    санатории урала для детей акция здоровье в подарок вышний волочек отели
    анапа афалина официальный сайт ессентуки грязелечебница семашко цены на процедуры санаторий прибой крым

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *